I just got this and thought I'd pass it along - Do you like it?
SOME OF THESE ARE OLDIES and SOME ARE NEWIES ~ BUT ALL FUN 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse Said 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned Veteran 20. A backward poet writes inverse. 21. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your Count that votes. 22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Jokes & Riddles - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Thanks for sharing but my sense of humor has risen to something a bit more sophisticated than puns. But I am sure that many people will like these.
2 :
hahhaa thanks i needed a laugh :)
3 :
Thanks. Those were very cute and funny. I have an idea how I can use some of them!
4 :
very good ones in there.
5 :
some of those are really funny,I wish my printer worked!! that's ok,I saved them on my computer for future reference!!Thanks again!!
6 :
8 and 12 were the best
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Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Revolutionary War Report/diary
Revolutionary War Report/diary?
I have been assigned a report for history & it is about 1775, [Rev.War] and I have to pretend to be a nurse in the Continental Army living through these events and have to make a diary describing all these events: 1. The Battles of Lexington & Concord 2. The Battle Of Bunker Hill 3. News of the Olive Branch Petition 4. News of The Declaration of Independence 5. Washington's crushing defeat in New York 6. Retreat across New Jersey 7. Victory at Trenton and Princeton 8. British capture Philadelphia 9. The Battle of Saratoga 10. France and Spain send help 11. Winter at Valley Forge 12. The Battle of Cowpens 13. The Battle of Yorktown 14. News of The Treaty of Paris Now, I'm begging [not asking for you to do my report!] that someone will help me by putting brief details describing EACH event so i know what i'm writing about in this diary. Thank you sooooooooooo much!!!! No links please- I just want someone to briefly sum up each event please i really don't understand!!! Thanks =D!
Homework Help - 1 Answers
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1 :
You are asking for quite a lot of information and I don't think any one will spend the amount of time needed to answer you. Here's the best I can do for you, if you don't like the answer I've given then ignore it. Major battles and events of the American Revolution include: http://www.kidport.com/RefLib/UsaHistory/AmericanRevolution/Battles.htm •Battle of Lexington and Concord •Capture of Fort Ticonderoga •Battle of Bunker Hill •Olive Branch Petition •British Evacuation of Boston •Invasion of Quebec, Canada •Battle of Long Island •Battle of White Plains •Battle of Fort Washington •Washington crossing the Delaware River •Battle of Trenton •Battle of Princeton •Battle of Brandywine •Battle of Germantown •Battle of Oriskany •Battle of Bennington •Battle of Saratoga •Battle of Monmouth •Winter at Valley Forge •Battle of Savannah •Battle of Charleston •Battle of Camden •Battle of King's Mountain •Battle of Cowpens •Battle of Guilford •Battle of Eutaw Springs •Battle of Yorktown http://www.kidport.com/RefLib/UsaHistory/AmericanRevolution/Battles.htm
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I have been assigned a report for history & it is about 1775, [Rev.War] and I have to pretend to be a nurse in the Continental Army living through these events and have to make a diary describing all these events: 1. The Battles of Lexington & Concord 2. The Battle Of Bunker Hill 3. News of the Olive Branch Petition 4. News of The Declaration of Independence 5. Washington's crushing defeat in New York 6. Retreat across New Jersey 7. Victory at Trenton and Princeton 8. British capture Philadelphia 9. The Battle of Saratoga 10. France and Spain send help 11. Winter at Valley Forge 12. The Battle of Cowpens 13. The Battle of Yorktown 14. News of The Treaty of Paris Now, I'm begging [not asking for you to do my report!] that someone will help me by putting brief details describing EACH event so i know what i'm writing about in this diary. Thank you sooooooooooo much!!!! No links please- I just want someone to briefly sum up each event please i really don't understand!!! Thanks =D!
Homework Help - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are asking for quite a lot of information and I don't think any one will spend the amount of time needed to answer you. Here's the best I can do for you, if you don't like the answer I've given then ignore it. Major battles and events of the American Revolution include: http://www.kidport.com/RefLib/UsaHistory/AmericanRevolution/Battles.htm •Battle of Lexington and Concord •Capture of Fort Ticonderoga •Battle of Bunker Hill •Olive Branch Petition •British Evacuation of Boston •Invasion of Quebec, Canada •Battle of Long Island •Battle of White Plains •Battle of Fort Washington •Washington crossing the Delaware River •Battle of Trenton •Battle of Princeton •Battle of Brandywine •Battle of Germantown •Battle of Oriskany •Battle of Bennington •Battle of Saratoga •Battle of Monmouth •Winter at Valley Forge •Battle of Savannah •Battle of Charleston •Battle of Camden •Battle of King's Mountain •Battle of Cowpens •Battle of Guilford •Battle of Eutaw Springs •Battle of Yorktown http://www.kidport.com/RefLib/UsaHistory/AmericanRevolution/Battles.htm
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Thursday, September 1, 2011
A few Puns to ponder....Wordplay
A few Puns to ponder....Wordplay?
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a-head." 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass." 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects! 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes in-verse. 22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Words & Wordplay - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
lol yeah they are great lol
2 :
Thank you.
3 :
very funny my fav is #4
4 :
Some of the best I've seen! But, ya know when those cannibals ate the Reverend Enge there were leftovers. The next day they discovered that Rev Enge is a dish best served cold. *************************** By the way, #5 is MY favorite!
5 :
Thanks for the humour. Nice to see keep it up.
Read more discussion :
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a-head." 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass." 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects! 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes in-verse. 22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Words & Wordplay - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
lol yeah they are great lol
2 :
Thank you.
3 :
very funny my fav is #4
4 :
Some of the best I've seen! But, ya know when those cannibals ate the Reverend Enge there were leftovers. The next day they discovered that Rev Enge is a dish best served cold. *************************** By the way, #5 is MY favorite!
5 :
Thanks for the humour. Nice to see keep it up.
Read more discussion :
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