Throwing my own hens night/bridal shower?
My maid of honour will be in France from a month and a half until two days before my wedding. My bridesmaid is a nurse and is usually very busy with work, so I wouldn't expect her to organise it... but is it wrong to do your own bridal shower or whatever? And what's the difference between the hens night and bridal shower? They are my only two close friends. I don't really have any other friends. I just wanted a quiet night in with my two closest friends, without my son. But they won't even be there. :(
Weddings - 8 Answers
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1 :
Its tacky to host any event in your own honor, whether its a bridal shower or a birthday party. The hens night is what we call a "bachelorette party" here in the U.S., its a fun night for the bride, her bridesmaids and some close friends. It could be something as simple as dinner, drinks and some games with a friends house, or going for a night out on the town. Its casual, relaxed and not a gift giving event. The bridal shower is a gift giving event, its designed to "shower" the honoree(s) with gifts of items they will need to establish their new home together. Its tacky for both of these to be thrown or hosted by the person they are for, immediate family or a parent. Though, I've been to many bridal showers who were hosted by a mom or sister. Sometimes the sister is the MOH so its natural she would plan this. If you MOH is going to be unavailable, then someone else would host this. I was in a wedding that was in another state and I helped to plan & pay for the bridal shower that I didn't attend. She can still plan it and not attend. The costs are usually split amongst your MOH & bridesmaids. No bride is entitled to or owed any pre-wedding events such as a hens night, stag and doe party (canada), bachelorette party, bridal shower, engagement party. If there is nobody to throw you one - then you go without one, and its always at their offering never at your asking. Throwing or hosting your own is like sending an invite "Be honored to be invited to my party that I'm throwing for me, in honor of me" it will come off as greedy. I'm not saying YOU are greedy, just answering the question in general. Good luck
2 :
I don't think there is anything wrong with planning and throwing your own bridal shower. Go for it!!! Maybe you can recruit another friend or another family member to help you because depending on how many people you are having it could get to be a little crazy. So recruiting some help would be wise. A hen's night, aka bachlorette party is where your bridesmaids would take you out for a night on the town before your wedding. Usually to party hard and enjoy your last few nights of freedom before your married. A bridal shower is where you and your groom will register for gifts, and you invite family and friends to shower you with gifts for you and your groom to start your new lives together.
3 :
Hi and congratulations on your upcoming wedding! First, NO, you cannot host your own bridal shower. Second, there is no written rule that your maid of honor and/or your bridesmaids need to host your shower. Unfortunately, here in the U.S., it HAS become one of the duties of the maid of honor and the bridesmaids. Third, another person (an aunt?, a friend?, a cousin?, a co-worker?) can host a shower for you. You must have some other family. A hens night is equal to the bachelorette party here in the U.S. This is just a night to get all the girls together. It can be a low-key event or whatever you want to make it! Some go out to eat and then bar hopping after...but that is not mandatory. Some girls have a pajama party! I hope this helps!
4 :
I'm pretty sure the "hens night" is another term for the bachelorette party. I think. So, not the same as a bridal shower.
5 :
According to proper etiquette, a bride is not supposed to host her own bridal shower. If there is no one to throw it, too bad. You will not have a bridal shower.
6 :
There's no rule saying these things have to be in the 6 wks prior to the wedding. Talk to your friends about having a shower 8 wks before the wedding. A bridal shower is like a baby shower. A hens night is a bachelorette party. Talk to them about having a girl's night out before the friend leaves for France.
7 :
If you just want to do something quiet with your two closest friends then I don't see a problem with asking them to join you at a club / restaurant / whatever fora meal and a couple of drinks but that's about as far as I would take it. As for a bridal shower, probably best if somebody else organises it for you, otherwise it would be like you are saying "hi, I'm throwing myself a party a party and I want you to bring me a present" which would get some noses out of joint.
8 :
I put together my own bachelorette party (or hens party) and I see nothing wrong with that. I would never make or expect anyone to dish out money to throw me a party, so I did it myself. Don't listen to those who say it's tacky...it isn't. As for a shower, I made it very clear I didn't want one because I don't believe that just because you get married that should mean people should buy you things. That's just how I am. BUT if you really want a quiet night out with your two closest friends, I say wait to do it until they are available. It doesn't have to be a hens party for you to do that and you'll be happier if they are there with you.
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