Long Distance Relationship Problems?
Hello, I have a very detailed question/topic... I am involved in a long distance relationship and I love her very very much! I'm a Canadian citizen (25 yrs) and my girlfriend is a French citizen (28 yrs). I don't speak french, she speaks really good English though. I met her a long time ago online back in 2001 and we've been dating for about a year and a half. We only get to see each other about 2 to 4 weeks per year which really tough! The lack of physical contact is very difficult and she really needs that, I do too of course but I have more patients than her I believe to wait for the next time to see each other. She is on the stressing out and feels like she wants to give up on me now because it is too hard to make this long distance relationship work. I keep telling her to be strong and not to worry things will be ok and we can make it. We are very happy together and we have shared many great moments together but us being apart is killing our relationship and it's very sad. :( I've gone to see her in July 2009, Sept. 2009, Dec. 2009/Jan 2010 for Christmas and New Years, and I was there again in Sept. 2010. She has come to see me in Oct. 2009 and she is coming to see me again Dec. 17, 2010/Jan. 2011 for Christmas and New Years this year. She feels that although we love each other very very much... when she goes back home to France our relationship will come to an end. I want to make any effort I can possible to keep the relationship alive. She is a student in France to become a nurse. She is in her first year of the three year course. So, she is stuck where she is for 3 years. Myself, I have no college or university education, only a high school diploma. I am willing to move to France to be with her. She says for me not to because I should go to college and take care of myself first. A friend of mine he suggested why don't I get a job to work at McDonalds or something like that and work there for a little like 6 months or so and then ask for a relocation to work at a McDonalds in France, that way I would be able to have a workers permit over there. I'm not sure how well that would work since anyone can get a job at McDonalds. The job relocation would help to get a long stay visa. I know that a nation would rather employ their citizens before they ever employ an immigrant based on skills and trade qualifications. I don't know what to do! I don't want to move on from her, she is a great person and a really lovely girl. She agrees if I were living with her in France that would be great but because I'm not there it's too hard. She has gone through moments like this before where she has doubts about our relationship and every time she has doubts I'm always there to reassure her and make her feel ok again, but this time I'm worried it could be over this time when she goes back to France in Jan. 2011. :( I think one of the problems in our long distance relationship is that we don't have a plan on what we are going to do in the future to do with our relationship. Thanks for reading!
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
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1 :
wow. mostly all i can say. This seems complicated. as i dont want to be all over ur personal business and all i'd say that ur friends suggestion is fine but i wouldnt so that. Think about it. you've wasted your life at school to do what? work at mcdonalds? u should go to college in france DUH! Go to for example the univeristy of Lyon though i dont know if theres an english section. Search for english colleges in france and go there. apply to all of the colleges that would best suit you and help your relationship then choose between the colleges where you got accepted and see which would be better. Otherwise there's always your friends suggestion. But dont just think about her think also about YOU and YOUR future. What if this relationship didnt work out at the end? then you would have lost EVERTYHING. So i recommend you take my advice and: xxGood Luckxx
2 :
You're right. You definitely need a plan about how far you are taking the relationship, and since she is the one who is going to school I think you should be the one to accommodate her. Yes, find a job, get a transfer to France, and let her know what you're planning to do to keep the relationship alive. I think you have it figured out now you need to put the plan to action. Oh btw, I wouldn't settle for a job at McD's. find something that pays better, and something with better hours. Europe is a little more expensive than Canada.
3 :
Damn thats a hard situation my friend. I am also in a long distance relationship but luckily she is only an 8 hour flight away. I am able to visit her once a month. You are right, you both need to have a real talk about the future. That would be the first and most important step. Going to France will be a huge step though because you have to make sure you can support yourself and have a plan in place if things go wrong. Maybe apply for a working holiday visa. Those are usually easy to get for anyone up to 30 years of age and last for 1 year. During that year you can see if things are working out well there. Good luck.
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