Am I setting myself up for a fall?
I'm 21 and I had a really bad breakup after 5 years. He was manipulative and controlling, he never beat me he just made me feel worthless. He threw me out his house when i was 2 months pregnant, then after i lost the baby (ectopic pregnancy) I found out he had been cheating on me for a number of months. I recently got accepted to university, to train to be a nurse. I've found a small 1 bedroom flat to move into. I've met a guy, he's so nice and we really like each other. However, he is moving to France for a year to study. I'm going to end up hurt again aren't I? Should I end it? I don't want to bother my friends with this because they're fed up with me =/.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
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1 :
When you are 21 a year seems a long time. You will find it goes quickly though. It is so easy to keep in touch nowadays if you 2 are meant to be together then a years separation won't part you.
2 :
I think you should go out with him and see where it all goes. Keep it open and free and take things slow with the Mr. French. You never know it may work out in the long run somehow. I would just keep my options open though for awhile. It is never a bad idea to take the risk but it is a bad idea to hold on if there is no chance of a future. I have a feeling that if you two date for a bit you will figure it out and if you fall in deep love a distance will not end the relationship. It would just cause a little navigating.
3 :
Okay. I've been in a similar situation. I'm pretty sure I can help. I fell in love with an older man when I was 19 years old. He said he was moving to Washington in a few months. Time went on and he and I got closer. A year later, he was still in NJ. I basically moved in with him. I slept in his bed every night. He and I had a different relationship than what I have still experienced. Then again, the topic of him moving came up. He had finally set the date in November. November came. He pushed the date back to May, because he fell in love with me. He was planning to move because his mothers health was getting really bad so HE HAD to go. Eventually, he left. I was so crushed. I sat in my bed every night and cried for weeks. But then the pain eventually went away. I really wish I could say that our relationship was great because he and I had great chemistry. But I think our relationship was great because we both knew it was inevitable that he was going to leave. I think we got along so well because we both knew that we would never have to try and make it last. Sad, but true. Five years later and I still think about him, and talk to him occasionally. But I am in a happy relationship with someone else for 3.5 years now. I think the guy that moved really helped me move on from my relationship before him that was very similar to yours that lasted 5 years. I know this may sound like bad advice, but don't give up spending time with this man because he is leaving. Having him in your life will help you gain experience and, I believe, help you grow as a person. If the two of you are having a good time together... Continue it. Because if you don't, you will always wonder "what if" you hadn't made the best of it while you could. And who knows, unlike me, maybe years later you will see him again. Go for it. It will hurt when he leaves. But it is a great chance for you to grow as a woman. Good luck.
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