Im in a VERY difficult situation..anyone PLEASE Help!?!?
So im 21 and I met my very first bf 4 months ago and i have never had anyone before him. He gave me my first kiss and I never knew how nice it feels to have someone who cares about you and how nice it is to hold each other. He has A LOT of good qualities (does not push anything sexual on me that I don't want aka...very respectful!, he has a good job, he's good looking but I HATE his glasses lol, he wants to get married and he seems to know a thing or two about being a good husband, he seems to really care for me and pays for everything anywhere we go) BUT here's the deal... I still don't feel as if im in "love with him" and it's been 4 months already...I feel like I should be by this time and I would hate to break his heart if I ever have to break up with him...It's just that there are some things about him that bother me but they are small....like for example...(he seems really shy in front of my parents and even with other people he dosen't really seem like the kind of guy who would "be the center of attention at a party"...you know? he's not like the guys who go all crazy and laugh with other people and just be silly.... he tends to be sociable but serious at times especially when we go to places and people try to sell him stuff...he just kind of says "no" and keeps walking and not even give a smile or anything... idk if im just making a big deal out of this... the big problem is that I HAVE TO be married in two years....It sounds terrible but im getting my bachelors degree in nursing done right now and I don't have a valid ID b/c my visa expired and they won't renew it...so, unless I get married in two years I won't be able to take my licensure exam and be a nurse...I don't know what im going to do..... So basically I would have to go back to my country (France) if I don't get married in two years and I don't remember anything b/c i came when I was only 5 years old....so in a way...I feel pressured to feel like I "HAVE TO" love him b/c I need to get married...I don't have a choice... All in all, I really do like him right now it's just that my parents are a little skeptical about him b/c he seems so shy around them but we go dancing together and he picks me up b/c I don't own a car and it's a lot of fun...I just don't know if this will bloom into anything bigger in the future... what should I do?? and thank you to everyone who can help me out! :)
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
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1 :
I think that you should just go with the flow and see what happens between you two. But you should not get married if you have even the slightest doubt in your mind. Things may end up bad and you'll divorce and then you still won't be married anyway. Do not marry for the wrong reasons, you will be very unhappy if you do.
2 :
This is all so wrong. You don't get married to stay in a country. It's wrong and immoral. You are using a person for your own gain. Why don't you have a choice? Besides how do you know he even wants to get married. Honey, I would go back to France and use the education you have now to further your career and become a nurse there.
3 :
Just because hes shy around your parents and around other people, that doesnt mean much. I can tell you that my husband is a shy person and im french and loud and always the center of attention. We are the total oposite when it comes to that. Im the one who would talk to anyone and hes the one who doesnt talk until someone talks to him, even there something he will say hi and then walk away. As in having a convo with some friends of mine who ive been friends for a long time who come over to visite us. But thats just him, hes always seriouse. I hate it at time, i wish he would be more out there, but thats him and i respect him. He doesnt go out to bars, he doesnt party like an animal. We will have friends over and sociallize. He loves me and I love him. We were married after 6 months of being together. After one year i gave birth to our first child a little boy and the year after that our beautiful little princess. We have been married for 4 years now. He still has not changed his shyness and i dont care one bit. The love is even bigger then before, we are well off and we love spending time together. Im sure you will make the right choice. This is just an example. I would not use this guy just to get your visa renewed, thats just rude and meen. If you care for him, you can picture being with him for the rest of your life, and you love him then i would marry him. GOOD LUCK :)
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