How Can I Convince My Girlfriend To Move In With Me.?
My girlfriend and I have been togther for a year and a half. she is 20 and i am 21. We are both about to start college very soon, but the only problem is that she lives in France, and I live all the way in Toronto, Canada. I was thinking about joining her in France to start college, but learning the language, and finding a job down there would be another long process that would delay me from starting school. I want her to join me here in toronto because she already speaks english, and she wouldnt even need a job on the side, so everything would be easy. Plus, they always have a bunch of nursing programs over here, which is what she wants to do. We both love each other very much, and after being in a long distance relationship, with occasional visiting, we finally want to live our dream of being in the same city, and even the same apartment together. But The only problem is convincing her to come here , and making her lose the fear that we will one day have a major fight, which will result in her leaving the school and going back to her country. Any Help ??
Singles & Dating - 4 Answers
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1 :
just have a romantic dinner and say to her that you are ready to take the next step in your relationship and that you would love her to move in with you! GOOD LUCK!
2 :
Have you considered marriage? Willingness to formalize your commitment should help overcome her fear of an impending split.
3 :
First decide how much you want to be with this person- do you a) like them and enjoy their company or b) do you want to spend your life with them? There is a big difference! If the answeres A then just enjoy it while it lasts , if its B then what are you waiting for? Get pismluer French and start packing....LOL! Honestly, I left my work, close family and pals to get married and live on another continent - it was NOT easy. Even if you both love each other it will be very very hard for either to uproot like that. Trust me- that sort of uprooting hurts! I hate to try coming across as "older'n'wiser" but 20 is (these days) considered young to settle, (it didnt used to be!) are you both ready and willing to commit to being together for life? Unless you BOTH are ready to settle and commit then either one of you packing up and starting a new life overseas is going to be a too much of a strain on your relatshionshp. Even IF you both do have that sort of commitment to each other the uprooting and (and actualy LIVING with each other...lol, it can be quite a strain in itself!!!!) will be hard. Honestly, I am happy that I made the leap, and wouldnt change it for the world, but it was very hard, painful and took a lot of work and willingness to change and accomadate each other. Before you ask her to move or move yourself you should reflect on that. If you've both really found your life's partner then I wish you luck either moving or convincing her to move to you! God Bless!
4 :
Wow... you guys are 20 & 21 but extremely in love? This is a hard one ...... I had a relationship with a girl who moved 2 hours away & it eventually deteriorated and we broke up with in 4 months. I'm not wishing this on you..... but human beings needs physical closeness also to keep the bond going. I'm not saying sex - which is nice if you are getting that too...... but actual physical contact - watching TV, going to movies, cooking together.... etc...... "Historically, relationship researchers and therapists have been of the opinion that separated relationships need fairly frequent face-to-face visits. Several articles, based on either professional opinion or interviewing techniques, have suggested that separated couples need to see one another about once a month to maintain intimacy." more good info at this site = http://www.longdistancerelationships.com/Advice/article.asp?articleID=4 so the plan to move closer is the main way to save your relationship & somehow you need to get this across to her. & if her major problem is fear that you guys will break up with a major fight ...... you need to convince her that will never happen in a million years & stick to it. Hopefully you have a good track record with being a honorable person with other girlfriends & even having low drama with her will help. You also need to do some research on nursing schools that would love to have her & that have a really good reputation. You will have to do research on places to live, how much everything will cost & hopefully to boot you could afford to foot most of the bills ..... sorry to tell you this now = but women like financial security .... it doesn't mean that they are all gold diggers .... but they need to know you can foot a lot of the bills if they decide to have a family with you in the future. & you will need to explain to her ..... if GOD FORBID -----good line to remember..... if you guys broke up this would be our mature kindhearted adult back up plan. ie - she can still finish out her schooling while living with you, you will help her with an emergency back up fund or nest egg that will make her feel secure. etc........ So bottom line is you are going to have to do some research & some serious planning & thinking on your part..... because honestly if you are going to drag some girl across the world to be with you.... to leave her family, her friends, her country, everything she knows & makes her feel secure ...... then you better be sure she is the one for you and you will be willing to work very hard at maintaining your relationship with her ......... or at miniumum help her either get back home or finish her nursing degree in your country... which ever she prefers. You will have to sell it & really mean it ........ to "convince" your girl to move it with you. Good luck, Steven
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