I want to CRY b/c of my situation...PLEZ give me some advice?
So im 21 and I met my very first bf 4 months ago and i have never had anyone before him. He gave me my first kiss. He has A LOT of good qualities (does not push anything sexual on me that I don't want aka...very respectful!, has a good job, good looking but I HATE his glasses lol, wants to get married, seems like he would be a good husband/father, seems to really care for me and pays for everything anywhere we go) BUT here's the deal... I still don't feel as if im in "love with him" and it's been 4 months already...I feel like I should be by this time...there are some things about him that bother me but they are small...(he seems shy in front of my parents and even with other people he dosen't really seem like the kind of guy who would "be the center of attention at a party"...you know? he's not like the guys who go all crazy and laugh with other people and just be silly.... he tends to be sociable but serious at times especially when we go to places and people try to sell him stuff...he just kind of says "no" and keeps walking and not even give a smile or anything the big problem is that I HAVE TO be married in two years....It sounds terrible but im getting my bachelors degree in nursing done right now and I don't have a valid government ID b/c my visa expired and they won't renew it...so, unless I get married in two years I won't be able to take my licensure exam and be a nurse...I don't know what im going to do..... So basically I would have to go back to my country (France) if I don't get married in two years and I don't remember anything b/c i came when I was only 5 years old....so in a way...I feel pressured to feel like I "HAVE TO" love him b/c I need to get married as if I don't have a choice b/c technically I don't...I can't go back to my country b/c ive lived here 17 years and I can't dump him either b/c Im afraid I won't find anyone else/better plus I don't have a car so it's kind of hard to go out and meet people without a car All in all, I really do like him right now it's just that my parents are a little skeptical about him b/c he seems so shy around them but we go dancing together and he drives out here 80 miles just to pick b/c I don't have a car...I just don't know if this will bloom into anything bigger in the future... what should I do?? and thank you to everyone who can help me out! :)
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Give it time. It's not going to happen in 4 months. If you don't think you love him after 2 years then you have a problem.
2 :
You are setting yourself up for disaster if you honestly think like this. "I have to be married in two years"? "I feel like I have to love him"? Are you kidding me??? This is no way to go about finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES does anyone HAVE to be married in ANY amount of time. Our divorce rates are so incredibly high because of people like you thinking like this. COME ON! Get REAL woman!! This is your first boyfriend, you're only 21, and you haven't even started your career yet!! Unless you want to end up in court filing divorce papers in 5 years with some random man you "had to marry," QUIT IT
3 :
ok first off, you CAN NOT rush love...it just doesnt work that way, just give it time and take things easy...you have 2 years, and also dont get married just because you feel pressured due to your visa, thats a really sh!tty thing to do. And also you say that you dont like how he's not '"the center of attention" and whatnot, well just be glad thats he's not an obnoxious @sshole And he drives 80 miles just to see you?! gah, thats amazing right there lol, i think you just need to slow things down and learn to appreciate him for who he is just a little bit more and just live life one day at a time. Im only a 17 year old kid...but i know these kinda things haha, good luck =P
Read more discussion :
