i am confused and worried?
my name is jolie and im from france( europe). the purpose of me comin to the us was school and im actually majoring in nursing then latter on i would like to get a master in nursing anesthesia whish will be achieved in not less than 5years. my point is two years ago i started dating my boy friend and he proposed to marry me 6months ago of course i agreed because i love him so very much.at that time he agreed also to go back to school to better himself and then we will return to france and work there.but yesterday while i was telin him how excited i was about our plan he brough out an issues that might change everything. he actually told me that he didn't wana stay in this country(us) for more than 2years that he has more oportunities to succeed in europe and also that he doesn't think school is really for him.as much as i love him and wana marry him i dont think i wana leave my school to go back to france without no degree which mean no point of start there. he want us to leave here without at least a degree that will definately help us stay on the safe side and go there start at level zero with no guarantee that we will make it at all knowing that we about to buid a family and have children.i dont kno wat to do anymore should I marry him and leave for back home because i love him or should i tell him that he has to stick to our plans if he wants to marry me or should i just leave him now before things get more complicated. also the way he was talkin, i felt like he was givin me orders by sayin that after we get married you gonna have to get pregnant in the next 3weeks becoz i want a baby now now i dont wana wait. he didnt bother askin 4 my opinion like its all about him. im 23 and he is 29 . pleaz help im way far from knowing wat to do
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
DO NOT marry him. I've been in a similar position like this, and don't change your life to fit around a relationship, because a strong relationship will follow with what you want to do with your life. If he wants to get married tell him to wait until after college. I dropped out of college once because a guy wanted to get married and live together, and have a family, and I still remember it as the biggest mistake I've ever made. Please please please don't make the mistake I made, it will be nothing but suffering and misery. The hardest part is the year comes around when you SHOULD have graduated, and the realization that you have nothing. It's humiliating, depressing, embarrassing, just everything bad put into one. I know you don't know me but please oh please don't do that. I'm literally begging you. you don't want to put yourself through what I've already been through.
2 :
Well if u feel tht u love him but at the same time u don’t find him caring for ur interests then u need to make ur feelings meet the reality of his feelings. All u shud do as per my opinion is to speak in a calm but definite manner to him about ur feelings n preferences & also making him understand the need for mutual undrstndng. If he is a guy for u then he shud b willing to love u emotionally aswell. U shud keep a tag on ur relationship from now itself so tht u don’t regret later, after all life is more than the flowery kind of love tht seems in the beginning. There’s a saying I have heard of- Don’t marry the person whom u love but rather marry the person who loves u (n bcos of this u shud also start loving him as he loves u)
3 :
Your age difference causes there to be a difference in your view of the immediate future. Your boyfriend is older and thus has a sense of urgency to begin his adult life. While you on the other hand feel now is a time for you to secure a way to make a living in your adult life. The question is what is your motivation? Do you truly love this man and want to spend the rest of your life with him? If so, there should be no sacrifice to great. On the other hand he must understand that you are young and feel the need to further yourself in life, if he truly loves you. If you do not have the love for this man that makes you want to be with him for life, then you should not waste his time or yours and move on with your goals. After all, what is the point of a relationship, if it has no hope for marriage? There are opportunities in many places, love is the greatest of them all. Love is not a conditional commitment, only given if your partner makes the decisions you see as right. In closing, do what your conscience tells you is right, aside from thoughts of your own personal gain. You will be happy without guilt in the end, if you choose to do what you know is right.
Read more discussion :
